Let me be ruined.
August 23, 2010
They say that first love is the worst and hardest to forgot. I didn’t believe that, seriously. I’m not into these cheap love stories thingy and i believe they lie about these. But i found it true, really true.
I know i’m such a dick writing all these now. I know i’m such a fucken saying all these now. I don’t expect her to forgive me. I don’t expect for a second chance. Because i know i’m such a fuck ruining someone’s life like nothing. I’m such a idiot who doesn’t think through things. I keep having the urge to talk to you again. But i don’t dare. And i do not have that right. I ruined your life like this, what gives me the right to talk to you. I do not have that courage to talk to you. I keep telling myself i hope that i do not bump into you, because if i do, i’ll run. I do not know how to face you.
Just a sorry from me, cannot solve things. It’s just so complicated.
I don’t know how i can seek your forgiveness, but better not. I am fucken.
Just that i miss everything about you.
Your smile, the silly actions that you’ll do, how naive you are, how much you love photography, when you desperately wanted an iphone, your s.h.e collection, the way you cared for me, the way you controlled me.
I lost all these things, which i can’t get back at all…
I’m sorry had to write this here. Have no other place to say all these.
